How To Find Strength & Positivity After a Breakup ~ New Video With Chyna

Hey girl! We’re here with your Tone It Up App trainer Chyna. We all know her by her beautiful smile, positive energy…and those burpees!!

And today she’s sharing another — even more personal — part of her story with us. Karena and I hear a lot of questions about how to get through a breakup or divorce. So today Chyna is bravely opening up about her own divorce and sharing how she came through the experience stronger. Through it all, she has kept a positive perspective, stayed true to herself, and been a bright shining light in this community.

If you’re going through heartbreak right now, we want you to know that beautiful things are on the horizon for you too and you have an entire community of strong women here to support you! 💗

And let’s keep this important conversation going. Let us know what else you want to talk about in the comments. We’re always listening!

Love you lots,

K&K

You can also watch on YouTube & Apple TV HERE!

Have more questions for Chyna and us? Tell us in the comments! 💕

COMMENTS 49

  1. Hi girls,

    You have such an amazing relationships with Bobby and Brian. Do You have some secrets to have good marriage?

    Also do You have bad days sometimes? Everyday You are glowing and happy and positive and I wonder if You sometimes struggles and have normal ‘bad mood’.

    Thank You so much, love You so much!

    1. Hey babe! Of course we all have our bad days and our struggles. During those times, we lean on Bobby and Brian, our families, and this community for support and to make us smile. Love you so much!

  2. Beautiful story Chyna! It was so empowering and just refreshing to hear and know you girls are so real! Since you mentioned you like reading books. I recently just read a book that is amazing! “Your scars are beautiful to God” by Sharon Jaynes This book has helped me to realize I can get thru my past with community and using my past to help other people. (I’m still trying to find that voice) And that is totally what Tone It Up is all about! I love this community, I am still scared and not sure how to use it. I keep praying and just trying to be patient! Much love :>

    1. Thank you so much for the book recommendation! I will check it out and I am so so happy you are a part of the TIU community you know you can reach out to me any time! xxo Chyna

  3. Thank you so much for sharing! It is so easy to think that because you are such a positive group of women that there aren’t challenges in your own lives. I have gone through divorce as well and it is not an easy thing to go through. Having such a strong community around us and having people like you being open and honest with the reality of life helps so many people. LOVE YALL SO MUCH!

    1. Yes, especially with social media I think it is so important to just be real with each other! Thanks so much for listening girl! xxo Chyna

  4. Chyna,

    your inner beauty and strength shows in your humility! Thank you for sharing such a personal story. You are helping many women who are going thru struggles of all sorts when it comes to matters of the heart. Stay true to who you were created to be!

  5. Thank you Chyna for your openness and love with the community! A Congratulations is in order. I think positivity is not a hot topic circling divorce, but you’re taking charge of your own happiness! Congratulations for taking the necessary steps on your soul’s journey!

  6. Chyna,
    You are such a beautiful soul, your positivity and encouragement in this community is amazing. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring us everyday.
    Much love to you xoxo
    Shannell

    1. Thank you so much Shannell! It means so much to me to have your support and be in this beautiful community with you! xxo Chyna

  7. Thank you so much for the courage and vulnerability you shared Chyna! It is so inspiring! <3

  8. Chyna, what a great reminder that our openness and vulnerability can make us stronger and better – and make others like us more. (I won’t swear at my phone when you call for single-leg burpees any more.) Thank you for sharing. What you said about positivity applies to so many struggles in life. As you said, it requires constant work, but by looking for the lessons of each difficult situation, we can be positive about moving forward.

    1. I am so happy this video could resonate with you Margaret! Perspective is always key! Maybe this will encourage you to enjoy those single-leg burps a bit more ;). xxo Chyna

  9. Chyna, you are so wise, and I love how you have a growth mindset toward life. I love how you are vulnerable AND strong. I personally find it so hard to open up and share the truth sometimes. It is so hard to be courageous and really let people know the parts we are struggling with or may want to hide, and I applaud you for opening up about divorce. I think divorce is not a failure, but rather it takes a lot of strength, honesty and awareness to walk away from something that is comfortable but you know is not working. I love what you say about each day taking work; I feel that I have to start over each day mentally with some things. Thank you so much for being courageous and sharing part of your story. It has helped me. You are truly a ray of sunshine.

    1. Wow thank you so much for the kind words Melissa!! Vulnerability can be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things but everything always ends up better when we can be real with one another. xxo Chyna

  10. Love this, Chyna! You’re such a light, and I’m so thankful for your openness and vulnerability.

    1. Thank you Laura! I am so thankful to be able to share with you and have you in this community! xxo Chyna

  11. I am sorry that you’ve experienced a loss like this in your young life and I can tell that marriage was something you held very close and it hurts to know that it didn’t work out. You are so strong to share your story and I think we can all respect you even more for keeping the details private. Thank you for sharing and I applaud you for taking this time for you and not rushing. I believe in time, love will re-enter your life and it will be amazing. It will give you confidence and security. It will be lasting and unconditional. And on a side note – I adore you. I’ve been married for almost 16 years and I just had my youngest 16 months ago and believe it or not, you have taught me to love burpees! I cannot do a one legged burpee to save my life, but I can keep up with you, mostly, lol – but you make me feel strong and each time I do another one of your workouts I go out to see how I can improve, get better, faster. For me, I’ve learned over the years that working out is not about being skinny, but strong. And somehow, four kids in and at 35 years old, I feel the strongest I’ve ever been or felt. I don’t have a 6 pack, lol, I’ve actually got the cutest little leftover situation from those babies, but even with that, instead of looking in the mirror and feeling disgust over what my body isn’t, I just feel proud of it and I think it is beautiful. You and the rest of the TIU team have given me such an appreciate and education for my body over the past 5 1/2 years that I’ve been a member. Thank you for your heart and all the effort that you put into each routine.

    1. Thank you so much for this encouragement. I am so happy that my story along with my workouts can impact you in any way! You girls mean the world to me! xxo Chyna

  12. I could not stop crying the entire video. There is hope for me. I hear it in your voice that you know exactly what it is like to go through a divorce. I am 43 had been married for 10 years and had an unexpected divorced 1.5 years and there is not a day that has gone by since then that I have not cried. The day I filed for divorce I had my sister fly across town just to hold my hand. I had joined TIU to get myself motivated to work out but with this today I come to realize that it is more of a sisterhood. All you said is exactly what I feel and I thought no one really could understand and help me. This is what I needed. I am hopeful, happy, and excited to be part of something so encouraging to women of all ages. Thank you a million times thank you for sharing.

    1. There is always hope!! It is so powerful to remember that you are never alone in what you’re going through! Love you Jeannette! xxo Chyna

  13. Chyna, this is absolutely an amazing story of perseverance. GIRL, you are strong. Thank you for opening up about your life, I feel like in our day and age that sometimes the depth of life is forgotten but emotions are deep and need to be acknowledged. I am in college right now and I feel like 50% of the conversations end up being about dating, boys or marriage. But there is so much more to life, and our validation should never be in those things. Taking the time to not date is brave, especially in a culture that, I feel, pushes that a romantic relationship is the most important thing in your life. Thank you for speaking about this subject. I will be praying for you and your continued healing!

    1. So happy that you are so aware at such a young age that your worth and validation comes from within before anything else! So happy this was able to resonate with you! xxo Chyna

  14. Hi girls 💕

    I just wanted to say that I’ve been through it too. At 24 I was newly pregnant and my abusive ex husband decided that he didn’t want to be a grown up anymore. Everything I knew since I was 16 changed in an instant. I lost my home & most of my friends too. Oh & it was a few days before Christmas!!! I left my home with nothing but a bin bag full of clothes. My ex cleaned me out completely, even took the blender!! I knew I had to be strong for my baby but the enormity of it all was petrifying. I just concentrated on getting through each day. I made new friends and 18 months or so later my husband breezed into my life totally unexpectedly- that was 15 years ago. It’s true, that when one door closes another opens. It may not be the path you thought you would be taking, but it’s yours to own. A journey that you can steer in the direction that you would like to go. Have faith, keep love in your heart and be greatful for everyday 💕

  15. Awwww Chyna….I’m so sorry you are going through this heartbreak. Thank you for sharing with your TIU community! It’s a big step toward healing. I was married at 23 & divorced by 28. It was devastating!!! I too held marriage in a high regard & felt like a failure & ashamed. I felt that people judged me. I had such a strong base of support from my closest friends, family, and coworkers who really knew the whole story. I threw myself into my career & improving the things in my life that I had control over. Knocking on the door of 43, I can say that I have happily been married almost 9 years now to the man of my dreams. I can proudly say I don’t “need” him, but boy do I want to be with him everyday. He makes me a better person, & was worth every tear & heartache that I experienced early on in life. I will keep you in my prayers as you continue your healing & the journey of your new life!!!

    1. Your story is incredible! You have inspired me. Thank you so much for the encouragement and I am so happy the video resonated with you! xxo Chyna

  16. Yes yes yes Chyna, you nailed it with this post! I got married at 30 years old and by 31 I was divorced so I can say with complete truth that I know what you are feeling and how hard it can be to go through. It is an incredible act of self love and strength to come out the other side not angry or embarrassed or ashamed of you path. It all happened for a reason, we can’t control what happens but we can control how we respond. I did a ton of self reflecting and reading when I went through my divorce and it helped so much to emerge with such a better sense of myself.
    One book I would recommend to you is Pema Chodron’s book “when things fall apart”. It’s a incredible way to get out of your own head and train your thoughts to really see things for what they are and not what easiest to see.
    Love you girl and this entire community. It’s what got me through my divorce too! I don’t know what I’d do without this community! 💗😘

    1. Thank you so much for the book recommendation! I completely agree that everything happens for a reason- it is always about your perspective. Love you girl! xxo Chyna

  17. Thanks so much for sharing your story and keeping it real so we can all be inspired to keep strong and continue growing and learning <3 I loved this video. Sending lots of love from France.

  18. Thank you all for sharing your stories. I had a very difficult breakup some years back, and I remember those feelings. It’s not because I feel the same way, now, but about remembering what I gained through the pain and through the doors that were opened because of it. No matter what we are going through, not just breakups, perspective is everything- just as you said. I am told often I am a very positive person, and my response is “You can be positive, too!” Being grateful for people, the TIU community, and other situations really makes the sun shine that much brighter. Find one positive from your day, right now- say it out loud, and even message me on IG (@katelynleahytonesitup), and I’ll share mine back! If anyone needs an accountabillibuddy for positivity, please reach out! Thank you Chyna. I love your energy, light, and love you share with all of us!! (That goes for each of you out there in the TIUteam, as well!! Thank you all for being another factor I am grateful for in my life!!)

  19. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a cancer fighter and my husband left me shortly after I was diagnosed and I chose to be positive and live a positive life. Being divorced has a stigma but none of of chose a life of divorce. Unfortunately sometimes as humans we make mistakes. I do not regret my marriage but I refuse to live a life with regret. Thank you K&K for bringing the amazing Chyna!

    1. Every time we walk through the fire we get more refined and stronger than ever. You are such an incredibly strong woman. Just hearing a taste of your story and perspective on it is such an inspiration to me. Love you! xxo Chyna

  20. Chyna!! You do not know how much this video resonates with me. As a Studio Tone It Up trainer, I’ve always been drawn to you light…not knowing all that you went through. Crazy enough, I too went through a divorce just over a year ago – and I am only 29. Hearing your story literally sent me on a journey of self reflection. I went through the struggles of feeling shame (for whatever reason!), and not being worthy. I feared that I could never be loved again and that I was “sloppy seconds”. I totally see how someone could easily get stuck in a whirlpool of self doubt in such a situation, but you’re so right – family and friends are EVERYTHING. I clung to them the first couple months after the breakup and took little leaps of faith like signing up for a half marathon. Keeping myself busy and surrounding myself with those who really knew me definitely was my saving grace. People always tell me how well i handled the situation, but boy, I can tell you that it didn’t always feel graceful! I just want to thank you sooo much for this. Really makes you shine that much brighter.

    As for books, which ones are you reading right now? Do you like a specific genre (fiction, non-fiction, self help, etc.)? I’m trying to increase my reading this year, so I’ll take any advice I can get :)

    Again, thank you soo much for this video <3

    1. Wow. I am so happy that my story was able to touch you in that way. You have absolutely nothing to doubt, you are so strong thank you for opening up to me! One of my favorite authors is Brene Brown! xxo Chyna

  21. I can not thank you enough for this video China! Although I have never been married, quiet the opposite actually, For the past few years I have really struggled with my self-image of not feeling like I am enough. My last serious relationship was in college 8 years ago now and keeping my mind positive and feeling worthy enough for love some day, has become my No.1 priority. To make things even more isolated, I have lived outside of my country for the last 5 years moving around. So on top of everything I have never really had my close girlfriends around to have a glass of wine with. SO to hear your story and how you work hard to keep the focus on you and your light inspires me to keep going. My biggest longing now is to form some sort of a support system around me and joining TIU almost a year ago now has kept my focus on my health which has added to every other aspet of my life. I am now in the States hoping to make a new start and form my base. So thank you for shining the way you do and sharing all the love from the TIU community.

    1. Hey girl!! This community is here as a support system and a whole group of new girlfriends for you! It’s amazing because you’ll always have a community of friends with TIU! xxo

  22. This is everything! Needed these words so much! I’m also currently going through problems in my relationship where we’re taking a “break” (it’s been a month!) so I’m treating it as a breakup and after almost 5 years, my longest relationship, it is so scary to start over. I also was scared since I’m 32 now, it’s so much harder to meet quality people in my city. But just like Chyna, I’m using this time to refocus on myself to be the best version I can be.

    Love you girls!!

    1. Hey Jehnny, I know it’s scary but you are strong and you are definitely facing this with a positive attitude by focusing on yourself. I’m always here for you! xxo Chyna

  23. Chyna,

    Thank you so much for sharing. I can’t tell you how perfect the timing was for me in seeing this video. It has been a really hard day. I just sent divorce papers to my husband today – it’s a place I never truly thought I’d be, but was something that had to happen. Thank you for your encouragement and positivity. So many things you said resonate with me. I’m so thankful for the courage you had to share your life and heart.

    Amy

    1. Hey Amy, I’m so glad the video resonated with you. You are so strong and just know that I am always here for you along with this whole community. Sending you love. xxo Chyna

  24. I wish I could access my nutrition plan from the TIU App. Would make it much more convenient to look up recipes stat. Love you ladies! If you can make that work, I’m yours forever. But who am I kidding, I am a tone it up girl for life! Xo

  25. Chyna, you are beautiful on the inside. Thank you for sharing your story. For girl talk, can we expand on the topics of balancing girlfriends and our boyfriend? I have had a few girlfriends in my 24 years.. but find myself with none now. Just my bf. I want to reach out to my old friends but I’m scared. Any suggestions for making new friends or how to get back in touch with old ones and growing those relationships? Xo

    1. Hey Mercedes! I love that topic for a future of Girl Talk column! This community if full of amazing, welcoming girls just waiting to hear from you. So don’t be afraid to just reach out to someone and introduce yourself and say hi. Or text an old girlfriend to see how she’s been. I’m sure she’ll be so happy to hear from you! xxo Chyna

  26. Any advice for getting through a breakup when you have no girlfriends around? I haven’t been here for too long and have not made many friends. The loneliness is hitting pretty hard right now. This video was exactly what I needed to hear, but it is hard when I don’t really have a support system close by.

    1. Hey Heather! This whole community is here for you as a support system. Never be afraid to reach out to a new TIU girl on Instagram or Facebook or here in the comments and introduce yourself. There is a whole community of amazing women just waiting to meet you, and so many of us have been through similar experiences and are here to listen and be here for you. We love you 💕 xxo Chyna

      1. Thank you so much. That was so sweet. Love you!! This community is always so supportive and amazing <3

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