How To Cope With Postpartum Depression & Baby Blues ~ Coffee Chat With Boss Mom Chriselle Lim

Katrina Scott, Karena Dawn, and Chriselle Lim talk about how to cope with post baby blues.

Hey beautiful! Today we have our girlfriend, fashion and beauty expert, and mom of two Chriselle Lim back with us to talk about an important topic that touches so many of us — baby blues and postpartum depression. Whether it’s individually, a family member, or a girlfriend, we should all be more open about it so we can help each other.

A lot of women in the community have messaged me on Instagram asking how to cope with postpartum depression, anxieties as a new mom, and mental health during motherhood. And the reality is, I’m learning too and this is all new to me. It’s so common to have the baby blues, especially navigating a whole new lifestyle, and I want you to know that you’re not alone!

As a new mom, there are high expectations to breastfeed, have energy all hours of the night, to know exactly what to do, and to “bounce back” right away. We chat about all these topics in the video below.

What emotions did you feel when you first had your baby? One night when Bella was finally asleep, I just cried myself to sleep because I was beyond exhausted, my boobs hurt so much, my head was pounding, I was still healing and trying to stay ahead of the pain, Brian was sleep deprived too, visitors hadn’t stopped, and we hadn’t really soaked in time just us with our daughter. I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything right in this new role. Just when I thought I was alone in how I felt, the next night we were finally alone with Bella (no nurses coming in every hour at the hospital, no visitors at our house — just us for the very first time) and I looked over and Brian had tears running down his face. He was so overwhelmed with happiness and just all the emotions hit him — fear, exhaustion, a love stronger than he ever knew before, and the reality of being a father. Here are a couple pics from that night. 💛 I realized it’s important to check with our partners too because they go through so much with us!

In the video I also talk about how I cried when I got back from my first walk with Bella — I felt so overwhelmed with this new life. Getting out of the house was no longer a 6-minute out-the-door routine…it was a 40 minute or more ordeal. Your independence quickly turns into dependence with this little human that you love more than your whole life and you almost don’t even want to leave the house with them — you want to keep them within the safe walls of your home. You are forever part of someone and they are forever part of you. As I walked down the street I thought people were staring at me pushing the stroller. Did I look funny? Was I walking weird because I was in pain still? Did they know I was new to all of this? When I got home, I walked through the front door and I just sat down with her in my arms and cried, overwhelmed with love, fear, and anxiety of the unknown.

Anyway, I hope me sharing my story helps you as you navigate motherhood too. The amazing thing is ~ even with all these emotions, you ARE the best mama in the world to your baby. When things get tough, you’ll know exactly what to do — it’s in you. You were made for this. I promise that you are the most beautiful mama and your baby will gaze at you like you’re superwoman…because you are! I’d love if you also shared below — you never know if someone needs to hear your story.

And remember that if you’re feeling sad and think you may need help, you’re never alone in this journey. Reach out to your family, express it to your partner, and seek help from a professional. None of it is your fault — hormones can do crazy things! You can also visit Postpartum Support International to find resources near you.

Love you so much mama,

Kat

You can also watch on YouTube & Apple TV HERE!

COMMENTS 25

  1. You girls are incredible! Thank you for addressing this topic. I feel like it’s such an important conversation to have because I think to some degree every new mom goes through this. Going through a complete lifestyle change and then throw in lack of sleep, lack of time to take care of yourself, hormones going crazy, and a body that you don’t recognize- it’s a lot for anyone. I’ve had many break down and cry moments in the past 4 months since my daughter was born (a week after yours Kat!!!) And now I’m dealing with going back to work next week and bringing my little love to daycare and this may be the hardest part so I’m trying to keep reminding myself to take care of me because none of this is easy. So thank you for posting this it definitely helps to be reminded that so many others are going through the same exact thing and thank you girls for always being so honest and real!

  2. This was great to watch! Will there be a pregnancy and also a post natal plan? Similar to the wedding plan?
    Xoxo

  3. Thank you for sharing these stories. Getting everyone to talk together helps us all so much!
    With my first baby I had some anxiety because she has special needs, but I was able to rest more and just be the two of us for so long. With my second baby I was so much more tired and I just wanted the time to figure out how to be a mom of 2. I remember one afternoon feeling so overwhelmed from the phone calls I just put on some music, shut the bathroom door and gave both of my kids a bath🥰 I just needed to shut everything else out and take care of these little bodies and put lotion on them and snuggle them up in warm clothes. That’s still what we do when things feel crazy.

  4. Thank you for sharing! Mothers create such a wonderful community and network for each other it’s incredible to see everyone coming together to help each other out! I think one of the hardest parts for me as a new mother (my son is 8 months) is feeling the pressure of “doing and teaching enough” as well as milestones. Questions come up like “do I do enough with him everyday?” “Is he developing on track?” “ I doing my best to teach him what he needs to learn?”. It’s overwhelming! There are so many articles out there about which toys you should use and when, which milestones happen at what times, etc etc. I spent weeks reading at one point and stressed myself out so much I almost had a panic attack. Finally I put it all away and realized I was ruining this wonderful journey for myself and my son! The truth is, every baby is different and every baby is BEAUTIFUL no matter how fast or slow they reach those milestones!! When I was debating sleep training I did the same thing. Read for weeks and couldn’t figure out which method to use. And again! Each baby is different and at the end of the day all we need to do is what makes US most comfortable and what’s best for our baby!! I follow your Instagram, and you’re a GORGEOUS, beautiful mother and your daughter is SO loved it’s incredible. Thank you for constantly sharing your journey!

    1. so true Audrey! the best thing we can do is just enjoy the journey and go with what feels right and instinctual <3

  5. So important and kind of you to share this!! Mamas and Papas need all of the love and understanding as they help their new little lives grow💕💕!!

  6. I remember with my first, my mom was planning to come over to help me since it was my first day alone with my daughter. My husband had to go back to work. Before my mom got to my house I was trying to nurse my daughter and she wouldnt latch and then she just started screaming and wouldn’t stop. I called my mom and as soon as she picked up the phone I just started sobbing and asked if she can come over right that second because I didn’t know what to do lol. I was just so exhausted and overwhelmed. It all came pouring out. It is so important for new mom’s to know that it’s all normal and it’s OK to ask for help! Love this post ❤️

    1. becoming a mom made me realize how much I need my mom…and how much my mom must love me! <3

  7. Kat your words are so right and true. All those emotions, all the confusion, the joy and the fear. All those things that we are feeling so bad feeling them. The shame of not knowing what we do even though we made those humans in us for all those months. The pressure of others and ourselves. The comments and the tricks offered even when not asked. The new routine, the never ever more alone in the world. I reminder saying to my boyfriend two weeks after bringing my girls home (I had twin girls), I said to him: they are never leaving us, we have to take care of them for their life! I cried! I was so scared! Scared and in shock of all the fear I was feeling. So ashamed of that fear when I wished so hard to have them. I always wanted kids and I was lucky enough to get two healthy girls, and it scared the shit out of me! I often cried. I wanted to leave at some point. I wanted to sleep a full night again. I wanted to have my life back. Even though the nights were hard and I was beyond exhausted, when I saw their faces in the morning looking at me lile I was the most amazing person in a world, all of that went away. They are two years old and life is much easier that it was when they were babies. It seems so long and like it will never end but it is the hardest part. The most demanding part, the first year but it will pass and life will get easier. I was lucky to be able to talk with other moms in those moments, to have a partner that was truly there for me and my girls and I was there for him too. Friends and family that supported us without judgment and following our rules and ways. I was able to say how I felt without shame even though sometimes it was horrible saying some things outloud but it helps and it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child or that you are not happy to be a mama, not at all. We need to be able to say how we feel to feel better and walk that mom journey ❤️ so grateful for this post and your openess about how you are living your new lofe as a mom Kat, thank you so very much ❤️

    1. aww Elise! I said almost the same thing~ I go “Brian…we have a new roommate…forever. And we need to make sure she’s okay 24/7!” lol It’s so wild

  8. Thank you so much for this! I’m going to be a first time mom, and I have been so scared of experiencing post partum depression. Reading this and everyone else’s experiences helps ease my worries now, and helps me realize that even if I do end up with any degree of anxiety or depression, that it’s okay! You ladies are absolutely amazing <3

    1. Congrats Maya! YES! All of your feelings are valid and okay~ and if you ever feel sad or super emotional, just know you have everyone around you to talk to…and this community!

  9. Thank you so much for sharing! I have a 3month old now, and while I read up and reached out to friends about baby blues and ppd to be in front of it, it’s truly something else once it actually hits. I spent days and nights crying and had no idea why – by myself in the shower, while holding my baby, or as soon as my partner walked in the door – the tears would just stream. There’s just so many emotions and hormones!! I am happy I was able to talk through it wih family and friends and other moms in this community. It’s so important to have that support system – I’m so grateful to have this TIU team as a safe place to turn to as well as my personal village!

    1. thank you so much for sharing Keesh! It’s so true~ hormones will make us so emotional. So happy you were able to talk through it with your friends and family. <3

  10. My baby is about 13 month old. In the last couple of weeks I finally found myself feeling comfortable. I can’t count the number of times I cried through story time or fell asleep at 7 pm out of exhaustion. I find myself falling into the Instagram trap, especially looking at Kat’s story and beautiful Bella. Thankfully, just when I start judging myself, I see a post with Kat’s boobs leaking or an interview like this and remember that even my life looks charmed on Instagram. Being a mom is what it is for all of us. And we are all enough.

    Thank you for both being honest and for reminding me of how I can be myself. I’ve only truly found myself in motherhood during Love Your Body. The meal planning and Studio workouts have saved me. Love you girls.

    1. aww thank you for sharing Shelley! we’re all in this together. I find so much comfort in the community too~ just knowing I’m not alone!

  11. Kat I’ve never commented before but I saw on your stories that you said Isabella isn’t latching anymore. I saw your tears and wanted to share something that helped me when my oldest was an infant. You might have some success with a nipple shield, which would feel more like a bottle to Bella but would just slip over your nipple. It has holes to let the milk through and different sized holes for different baby ages. My daughter would only feed through that thing for months. Good luck to you and like so many others have said, I wish you had been around when I was having babies. You are doing it all just right, even if it feels overwhelming at times. The overwhelm never goes away but the newness of feeling overwhelmed does go away!

  12. Post partum, or the 4th trimester, is definitely the hardest trimester. I remember being so overwhelmed, just like Kat, with breastfeeding around the clock, terrible headaches and night sweats, and the visitors who wanted to come and stay for hours (in the evening… with no food or offering to help). I got to a point where I told my husband enough is enough. The only people allowed to come over are those that are actually helping and understand what it means to breastfeed. NO ONE in both of our families had breastfed except my mom and I totally get choosing formula but I didn’t appreciate the comments about me breastfeeding when clearly these people did not understand the mechanics. I wanted to scream at them… NO I can’t just give my baby a bottle at 4 weeks so I can leave the house or go to dinner and be gone for 6 hours! I had a HUGE oversupply. I saw doctors, lactation consultants, and read Kellymom.com to the point I was crying. I could pump 8 ounces in several minutes. My baby girl was so gassy because when she breastfed you could hear the quick gulping taking place and when she slipped off my milk would spray all over the room. I was SO unprepared for all of this and literally the only person who truly got it was my mom. At about 4 weeks in she started latching by herself without a nipple shield and my supply evened out a bit but I still had an oversupply. I had what I now know were intense migraines. They never went away and over the course of the following months they developed into something that was triggered whenever my head was positioned downward, even unloading my dishwasher. It would feel like my head was expanding and ready to explode. The worst migraine I’ve had couldn’t touch this pain. At only about 6 weeks postpartum I threw my neck out. I couldn’t turn it. I finally had an X-ray done, which showed nothing. I was given muscle relaxers. Gradually, it got better. Over the next year I saw my family doctor, an ENT, and finally (after very much prolonging it because I think I just KNEW and was so scared) a neurologist and then a neurosurgeon. I found out I was born with a congenital abnormality called chiari malformation. Simply put, I had to much brain for my skull capacity and after receiving my MRI, I had brain surgery just after my baby girl turned 13 months. The tonsils on the back of my cerebellum (part of the brain) had slipped into my spinal canal almost 3cm and my C1 vertebrae fused to my skull. I lived with it for almost 29 years and never knew. The epidural I received in labor was just enough pressure to make my brain “slip back.” I had surgery last August and am happy to say I’m doing wonderful! 12 weeks along with the next baby. But ladies, I urge you, if something doesn’t seem right or seems abnormal, reach out to your team of doctors and keep persisting until the root of the problem is found! In me doing so, it literally saved my life!

  13. Thank you for posting this! I had my second child (a girl) October 9. I definitely was better equipped with baby 2 as I had been through it all before but holy %^*% my first child three years ago was a game changer. I had so much anxiety like I wasn’t doing everything wrong. The first time I left the house after having him we went to Publix and he started crying and I just osnciked and left my cart full of stuff in the middle of the aisle and came back home and cried all the way home while he was crying. I was so horrified that this was my life now.. that I could never just go to the grocery store again alone. Obviously that’s not true but in the moment I felt like the entire world was closing in and that my baby had gotten a dud for a mom as I was no good at it. I also don’t have that immediate head over heels love that most women have when I have my kids. It takes me time to fall in love.. as I feel as they are strangers at first that just need need need and take take take… another reason I thought something was wrong with me. For both kids it took like one month of us bonding before I’m overwhelmed with love and another crying session hits lol. Thanks for being honest about your motherhood journey. It’s been so refreshing to see not a fake social media persona but authenticity. We need more of this in or social media world. It’s been great to know I’m not alone.

    1. aww oh my goodness this reminds me of another time! I also cried in the parking lot of the grocery store bc she was crying and she was so hungry but wouldn’t latch on! It was so stressful! <3 Love to you mama thanks for sharing xxo

  14. I love this! And thank you, Kat, for joining me in doing the “Mom sway” unconsiously when you’re not with your baby! 😂♥️

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