How Do You Get Over Heartbreak? We Talk Breakups and True Love with Our Girl Tenley

When you’re struggling with a tough breakup, looking to vent about a disastrous date, or just need a little advice about your bae, your girlfriends are always there to listen…and open up the wine. Our girl Tenley, creator of the blog Sweet & Free Life, is the best at giving relationship advice. She’s learned so much from her “love career,” as she teasingly calls it, and she’s sharing her wisdom with all of us in this Wine Not Wednesday chat.

After a divorce, Tenley opened herself up to a new experience and went on The Bachelor. (Karena’s fave show!! 🌹) Through that journey, she learned more about what she was looking for in a relationship. Now, she’s found the love of her life, Taylor! She calls him the dreamiest man ever (aww). Through all of this, even her tough times, Tenley has always kept such a positive, inspiring attitude.

For all you girls who may be going through a heartbreak, just know that we’re here for you. We’re sharing some of our best advice for coming out stronger!

Take care of yourself

This is the perfect time to prioritize YOU! After a breakup, it can be tempting to go right for the ice cream and Netflix! But sticking to a health and wellness routine will help you feel confident and in control during a difficult time. Journal about your feelings, what you learned from the relationship, and what you want re-focus on now. Visualize yourself in a few months after the breakup and write down what you see. Putting words on paper is so powerful! Throw your energy into your fave HIIT workouts. Exercise will release those feel-good endorphins. And sticking to the body-loving recipes in the Tone It Up Nutrition Plan will also keep you feeling energized and happy.

If you need some extra inspo…Tenley’s abs are GOALS!

Fill up your calendar

Keep your mind busy with lots of activities. Schedule friend dates and get-togethers, start training for a race you’ve been wanting to try, or volunteer for a charity. And now’s the perfect time for a #TIUmeetup!

Connect with the community

You have a whole community of girlfriends around the world who are here to support you. Connect with new gal pals on Instagram through the hashtag #TIUteam or meet TIU girls in your area.

Know that you deserve the best

It can be easy to lose sight of this during a breakup, but always know this: You are worth it and you deserve incredible things. Though you may feel sad right now, you are strong enough to get through this. And there is something even better for you just around the corner!

Watch the video below for even more advice on breakups and finding true love!

Watch on YouTube HERE!

 What are your best tips for getting over a breakup? What has worked for you and what advice do you give your girlfriends? Tell us in the comments!


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  1. Oh my gosh, I loved this! Tenley has such a sweet soul 💗 How amazing would it be if you guys got her to film a barre routine for us… I would love that, just saying 😉😉

  2. Oh gosh this is the cutest! I went through a bad breakup as well this past summer. I can’t stress this enough that the good is COMING and if your scared or comfortable (just settling), know that’s your heart and soul are telling you, you need to move on. I have been there and it became toxic because I was not happy anymore and I knew what I had to do, but comfort and stability especially if your with someone for a while, will try and stop you but its just the ego talking. YOU ARE STRONG, BEAUTIFUL AND DESERVE THE BEST. Trust me girls when I say the light comes after the dark. I am now with someone I couldn’t be happier with and who showers me with love and I didn’t think that existed, but it does exist ladies!!!! And it will come just trust your gut. Tenley you are the cutest and thanks girls!! Plus if your newly single, ENJOY IT and do YOU. Spoil yourself and find your real self and embrace it. Just take day by day and do things that make you happy, things will fall into place.

    Love you all!

  3. That was very timely. My boyfriend of over a year just asked for ‘space’ and it has been so difficult. Good reminders to focus on yourself, and to know your worth. These are certainly two things I’ve focused on in this interim that is driving me absolutely nutso.

  4. I love this! Such great advice. I think this is also great advice for non-single ladies! My husband and I have been married for over 5 years and I have to say that the seasons when I stayed true to these tips (self care, centered in my identity, setting goals), I am able to be a better wife and more complete me (K&K you ladies preach this all the time!). Love that you girls inspire us to live all of life wholesomely (if that’s a word!) – mental, physical and soul!

  5. Loved 💕this. Went through a divorce 3+ years ago and just coming out of my shell. Nice to hear the great advice especially to be patient. Thanks 🙌🏻🙌🏻💕💕 happy 🍷day.

    1. Glad to hear you’re coming out of your shell! We’re here for you always, babe! ❤️️

  6. Love that ya’ll are talking about this. I went through a hard break-up last year around this time (with my college boyfriend of 4 years and first love) and it was by far one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, but also the most transformative season in my life (still is!). Perhaps the most important lesson I learned is how CRUCIAL it is to let yourself grieve, and to be patient with yourself. Some days the waves will be out at sea, others they will feel like they are crashing over you, but just trust the process. “Allow yourself grace” is by far the best advice I received. Also, even at its most broken state, I found that my heart was determined to beat again. Once I got back into the dating world, I realized how many more people were better suited for me, and what I liked and didn’t like.

  7. How do you guys always get to hang out with my favorite Bachelor Nation girls?!! It’s my favorite show too!


  8. I had just started doing the TIU daily workouts when my boyfriend of over a year and a half broke up with me. Am I ever glad I had found Tone It Up when I did. Whenever I exercised I didn’t think about my ex at all because I was so focused on doing the moves. It also helped me to look better and regain my confidence and improved my self esteem. Three weeks later I was going out with someone new. That was in early June…and we’re still together. 😀💜

  9. I saw Tenley in Las Vegas at the Venetian last summer. I wanted to ask to get a pic with her but I was too shy to approach her. She’s really pretty in person. I’m such a big fan of hers from The Bachelor & Bachelor in Paradise. She seems to be so genuine & nice. She had great advice.

  10. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he took the strangest behavoir with me, he started ignoring me and stoped answering to my calls and texts that i had to be the one to break it off eventho i didnt wanted to. How do you go after this? I know theres probably something better out there but how do i stoo feeling so miserable, how do i stop missing him? I try to focus on my fitness journey but is so hard to get back to it 😰

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